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Indigo Limbs

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Indigo Limbs Empty Indigo Limbs

Post by Abstractionist Tue Nov 30, 2010 10:36 am

they flail their languid, indigo limbs
and press close their red, brown, black faces,
locking indigo lips and swaying indigo hips
under dual moons and butterscotch clouds.
engaged in a voodou ritual, their sanguine hands
violently meet and their bodies, darker than blue, convulse,
driven by a belligerent song and rhythm.
as though ancient africa coursed through their ichor,
the dual-faced mothers dance and move,
sunlight dripping from their tawny afros,
smearing the chalky face paint and marring the red soil.
the regal titanesses, ululating and celebrating the void of space,
admire distant stars and that blue pendant,
suspended.
wild martian children, pregnant with celestial wonder
and juvenile vigour, make love in errant labyrinths and vacant niles.
father nurses his seventh child on his
fourth nipple. sitting on mountain chairs,
all four paternal eyes admire the martian offspring.


Last edited by Abstractionist on Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:41 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Nifster Tue Nov 30, 2010 11:26 pm

OOOOOOOOOOOOOooo yes much more refined. I like. ;D
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Post by Abstractionist Wed Dec 01, 2010 6:55 am

Your approval makes me want to ululate in celebration! ULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Abstractionist Tue Dec 07, 2010 6:56 pm

A Revision

Indigo Limbs
they flail their languid, indigo limbs
and press close their red, brown, black faces,
locking indigo lips and swaying indigo hips
under dual moons and butterscotch clouds.
engaged in a voodou ritual, their sanguine hands
violently meet and their bodies, darker than blue, convulse,
driven by a belligerent song and rhythm.
as though ancient africa was coursing through their ichor,
the dual-faced mothers dance and move,
sunlight dripping from their tawny afros,
smearing the chalky face paint and marring the red soil.
the regal titanesses, ululating and celebrating the void of space,
admire distant stars and that blue pendant,
suspended.
their feral children, pregnant with celestial wonder
and juvenile vigour, make love in errant labyrinths and vacant niles.
an indigo father nurses his seventh child on his
fourth nipple. the maternal father coos
the gentle offspring into a martian slumber,
sleep overpowering the four eyes and gaian howls.


Last edited by Abstractionist on Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:48 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Nifster Wed Dec 08, 2010 8:47 pm

I feel like you still kept very much the same poem which was the point. Either way I'm not expert enough to decide whether it was an improvement or not. S'all good though.
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